Aha Moments: A Few Reflections on Wellness
“At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side…”
Can you identify with the above lyrics from Gloria Gaynor’s song, “I Will Survive”? How long have you been promising to extricate yourself from your current toxic relationship? One year? Five years? A decade or more?
This may be a tough question but one that needs to be asked: WHY? Why do you stay? Perhaps you’re attracted to excuses. They’re convenient and familiar. What have you been telling yourself? You know, thoughts and words bring things into existence. Although you say you want to be free, your actions indicate that you’ve grown accustomed to the yoke choking this debilitating union. After all, accepting responsibility takes grit. Perhaps it seems easier to complain and just accept things the way they are.
But you’re deteriorating. You’re not living up to your creative potential. You could be flourishing. And you call this love? The truth of the matter is, YOU haven’t collected the strength or courage necessary to stand up for what’s best for you. Ultimately, strength, courage and commitment are required to release a destructive relationship.
Enough! You know your situation is not serving your best interests. What’s your plan? Be brave. The time is right…now! Say it! Do it! Go ahead…
Break up with the old you! Start a new relationship…with yourself! Say au revoir to the you of yesteryears and prepare for abundance in the New Year. Get excited! Learn to love yourself all over again. Start living your best life. Be encouraged by more of Gaynor’s lyrics:
“Go on now, go, walk out the door
Just turn around now
‘Cause you’re not welcome anymore…”
Don’t allow defeat and discouragement to reign over your days any longer. Are you up for the challenge? You may need help with this. And support is just a paragraph away. Keep reading…
Six manageable steps for initiating a new, loving relationship with yourself:
- Set the goal
Grab a pen and notebook. Without blame or judgment, brainstorm ideas that will make you a better person. Circle 1-3 things you are willing to begin working on today.
Perhaps you want to finally begin a consistent fitness program. Maybe one of your goals is to quit eating processed foods. Or you may be ready to start that charity. Perhaps you’ve decided to begin showing up as a positive conduit for change in the world, by extending kindness to others each day.
- Write the goal card
To stay motivated, write each intention on index cards. Compose your statement in the present tense, as if it is already happening. Begin with “I am so delighted and grateful now that I AM…” Recite your goals each morning. Remember, your words have power!
Do you recall how effective those flash cards were while learning content in school? The same principle applies here—repetition provides reinforcement and assimilation. And in this case, the goal card will help you “become” your goal!
- Develop the plan
On the back of the card, write the positive steps you are taking towards achieving your goal.
- Work the plan
Commit with passion! Take action each day to nurture your new partnership with yourself. Be steadfast. Stand firm. Have faith. Set your own parameters. You’re doing this your way, on your terms.
Prepare a positive, loving contract with your best self!
- Evaluate the plan
How will you know if your plan is working? What will this new relationship look like? Spend time each day visualizing how you look with your new partner. How do you feel? How do others respond to the new relationship you have contracted with yourself?
Change takes time. A breakup can be painful at first, and building that new partnership can be challenging. Remember the lyrics to Neil Sedaka’s popular tune from the ‘60s?
“They say that breaking up is hard to do; now I know; I know that’s it’s true…”
But you WILL begin to notice changes. Expect success! Schedule time to celebrate your small accomplishments.
You have what it takes to become the greatest version of yourself. Be thankful for the opportunity to grow, expand and share your gifts with the world. Wake up each morning refreshed—ready to embrace the new you. Now that’s a relationship worth praising!
There is a direct connection between wellness and success. As a holistic health and wellness professional, author and workshop presenter, I would be happy to assist you or your organization in devising an empowering individual or group plan. Learn more about Lifestyle 120 programs, by clicking here.
“Your sacred space is where you can find yourself over and over again.”—Joseph Campbell
Love, peace and health,
T. Kari Mitchell
Certified Holistic Health and Wellness Coach