Nurturing loving relationships is vital to our overall well-being. But sometimes we allow a mistake or harsh words to sever our ties with a close and trusted friend. Whatever your situation, remember that we are not perfect. If you find yourself thinking about your friend and the wonderful times you shared, perhaps it’s time to be the first one to thaw the ice.
You see, forgiveness begins with forgiving yourself for whatever role you played in the situation. Forgiveness lifts the negative weight we’ve been carrying and quickens the healing process. Stop hauling that story around with you every day. Even if it’s not entirely your fault, step up and reach out. Free yourself of the burden. Perhaps your friend lacks the courage to make the first move and may be relieved that you took action. Maya Angelou said, “Forgiveness is the answer.”
Now don’t rehearse a formal speech and prepare a complicated agenda. Sit quietly and reflect on your intention. Come from a place of love and compassion, and be honest. First send a note. Something light and simple like, “I’ve been thinking of you and miss the fun times we shared. Just reaching out to see how you’re doing and wondering if you’re open to a chat.” When your friend replies, plan a fun virtual meetup.
During these unpredictable times, begin with a video call, but be creative. Invite your buddy to a virtual tea—both of you ready with a fancy teacup, decorated napkin and a teatime hat. Your accessories will be a conversation starter and sure to make you both laugh. Allow the conversation to flow naturally. And when you approach that “issue” that tore you apart, open the door for honest dialogue. But be careful not to place blame. Instead acknowledge that perhaps you both were going through a difficult time or maybe there was a misunderstanding—whatever makes sense in your situation. But don’t linger on the issue. You both know what happened.
Be clear that you want to make amends. Ask for forgiveness and accept forgiveness. Then when the time is right, schedule an outing together. Life is precious, and time is short. Don’t delay—message your friend today!
What are the positive rewards of demonstrating acts of forgiveness? Forgiveness has long-term health benefits for you and your friend. It promotes emotional healing and reduces stress. Allow time for a response. And if you don’t get a response, feel good that you made an effort. However, it may not be in your best interest to seek amends with everyone who offended you or caused you harm. In these cases, it may be wise to forgive the people, release and bless them, so you can move on.
Four Steps to Nourish, Transform and Flourish
• Set a loving intention to forgive yourself and your friend this week.
• Take the first step by reaching out to that person with whom you enjoyed a close and trusting relationship.
• How will forgiveness lift the negative weight and promote love and healing for YOU?
• Close your eyes and visualize how this lifestyle change can prepare you for your amazing second half.
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In love, peace and health--
Your feminine glow guide,
T. Kari Mitchell, M.Ed.
Certified Holistic Health Coach
When your spirit is nourished, your inner light produces an outer glow reflecting your beauty and truth.